I thought I was just hustling through life, but after watching 315, turns out I’ve been playing 'Battle Royale.' Morning: Freeze-dried strawberries with excessive heavy metals (physical iron supplement?) Commute: Coconut water diluted with sugar (tech-made sweeteners) Lunch: A 4.9-rated takeout that’s actually a 'heart-racing combo' Afternoon: Unlicensed cosmetic treatments (subtracting from my wallet) Late-night snack: Hydrogen peroxide-bleached chicken feet (a biochemical lab product)