Kung Fu Women’s Soccer Non-Spoiler Review: I Only Laughed the Next Day

Be water, my friend. Bruce Lee, three words.

*

Master Tang and his three disciples were on a boat crossing a river. In order to make the journey enjoyable,至尊宝 told a joke for everyone. After hearing it, Master Tang and Sha Monk laughed heartily, while Zhu Bajie was confused. Everyone thought it was a bit uninteresting, so they traveled on in silence.

But the next morning, Zhu Bajie suddenly burst out laughing, and Sha Monk asked, “Second Brother, why are you laughing?”

Zhu Bajie said, the joke that Monkey Brother told yesterday was too funny.

After watching “Kung Fu Women’s Soccer,” I didn’t laugh at the time, but as I walked out of the theater, the more I reflected, the more I felt like I had become the Second Brother. This could very likely be another work, like “A Chinese Odyssey,” that will be repeatedly interpreted in the future.

Let me share some of my genuine impressions without spoilers, as well as why the Second Brother suddenly burst into laughter— as a U.S. stock market investor, the benefit of crossing over to write film reviews is that you can consume it worry-free, with no commercial ulterior motives, just pure personal feelings.

First, let me share a bit of my personal background to help you understand why I became the “Second Brother.” I like depth; it can be brain-burning but must not be seriously arduous, so I don’t enjoy many highly rated movies that delve into themes of mental illness, as I find them pretentious. I prefer comedies and light-hearted dramas, such as “Goodbye, Mr. Loser,” “Hi, Mom,” “The Avengers,” “Game of Thrones,” etc. This relatively carefree pursuit of the viewing experience can also lead to a downside, which is that my understanding of certain film details might not be very good since I don’t watch them carefully.

Now, let’s get into the movie.

1. Zhang Xiaofei

Regarding casting, I only know Zhang Xiaofei, and she might be the reason why my initial expectations for this film felt a bit low. This doesn’t mean Zhang Xiaofei is bad; quite the opposite, it’s because I really like her. I've seen her play a mother in “Hi, Mom,” and I have watched many of her skits. She is slim and very good at playing gentle, delicate, and shy roles.

However, in the first 30 minutes of the film, I saw a “female version of Stephen Chow.” Stephen Chow actually found someone to play himself, to showcase the personality of the master brother from “Shaolin Soccer,” and this is something I didn’t understand before watching the film, but realized afterward.

I thought I was watching Zhang Xiaofei, always searching for that shy, smiling, sweet Zhang Xiaofei, but what was presented on the screen was a “master brother” with a female appearance.

Yes, it’s that master brother from “Shaolin Soccer” who thinks, “If a person has no dreams, how is that different from a salted fish.” Do you remember the look on Stephen Chow's face when he said that line?

His expression was very serious, then anxious, even somewhat angry. This is what you will see of Zhang Xiaofei on the big screen today. You need to understand this to comprehend the first half of the film.

The parts you think are not so good are actually just “the master brother has returned.”

When Zhang Xiaofei faced various rebellions from her team members, she was filled with anger, but I heard a rumor that Stephen Chow is also a rather angry person on set, and some even called him a tyrant (Stephen, please don’t scold me for this term, it’s just what I heard; I am innocent). After finishing this film, Zhang Yixing mentioned in an interview that when Stephen enters the set, he’s like a different person—very strict and stern.

But I completely understand this. Have you heard that saying? A serious person has no smile. You've seen Zhang Xiaofei's anger; if you define it as exaggerated, "I don’t agree with this gentleman’s style.” Behind that is Stephen Chow conveying seriousness about dreams, professionalism, competitions, and everything he values—very serious.

“That’s what we call professionalism.”

You can imagine, holding the mindset of “looking for fun, seeing if Stephen can make me laugh out loud,” while watching the first 30 minutes, how I felt inside: why haven’t I laughed? When will I laugh?

Can you instantly understand that sense of disparity? But is it the film’s problem? No, it’s just my problem. You could say that basically anyone who watches and points out issues in this regard is their problem, not Stephen Chow’s.

There’s no need to fuss over bad or good reviews; just like how Stephen Chow's “A Chinese Odyssey” was criticized as a bad film, it all could be due to “just not understanding at the moment.”

Shamefully, it took me quite some time to savor this, my appreciation still needs improvement.

2. Dilireba

I knew nothing about Dilireba; I only knew she was an extraordinarily beautiful woman, having seen some of her photos, which were stunning, but that wasn’t enough to make me a fan. However, after watching the film, I felt that I really might become her fan.

In the film, she completely immersed herself in the role, totally abandoning herself, showcasing complete professionalism. It’s her dedication to her craft that made me feel this surge of admiration. If I ever have the chance to meet her in the future, I’ll be asking for a few autographs—I've never asked a celebrity for an autograph before; this might be the first.

In the film, I’m not sure if she is without makeup (because I don’t really understand women’s makeup), but she gave me a feeling that reminded me of the youthful aura of Cecilia Cheung in “King of Comedy.” Although Dilireba might be older than the Cecilia in that film, she still exudes a pure vibe, bringing the rebellious, daring, and loving character to life.

When watching this character, you must forget about Dilireba as a person; otherwise, you might find it strange. Actually, she is acting as a character, not herself—when she shows a completely different side, many might think, “How come she’s not what I imagined?” But if you think from another perspective, this is actually similar to Zhang Xiaofei’s situation—when you simply watch the performance, you’ll realize she didn’t consider her beauty a burden at all but truly immersed herself in the role.

Being able to do this is very impressive, very professional; perhaps all actors cherish the opportunity to work with Stephen Chow, or it could be that Stephen Chow's standards are very high, so everyone ends up embodying the character they were meant to play.

I once wrote an article that I also really liked, called “You Will Become the Person You Are Meant to Be,” and I predict that this version of Dilireba will become even more amazing!

3. Zhang Yixing

Among the new generation of male actors, I don’t have many favorites, including Hu Ge, Huang Xuan, Zhang Zhen, Xiao Zhan, etc. But honestly, I had only heard of Zhang Yixing, and his works didn’t quite match up, but this film is different; I highly appreciate his professionalism.

He might have sacrificed the most and contributed the most laughs; when I watched the film, people next to me were laughing continuously at his parts.

He is a key plot driver in the film, and shows not a hint of idol baggage, performing with complete engagement. Even the expression where he is drooling made me feel like he was somewhat enjoying it? Haha, very entertaining, very excellent.

Of course, maybe because I’m a bit lecherous and pay more attention to beautiful women, I generally find it hard to write more about all male actors; everyone can just watch the movie for themselves.

4. Xu Juncong

“Damn it, what are you doing this for?”

Xu Juncong, who has been struggling in the entertainment industry for decades, has always remained lukewarm. Later, he went to “I Am an Actor 3” for auditions. He chose a segment from Stephen Chow's movie “Journey to the West: Conquering Demons,” but was stopped halfway through his performance and subsequently came under fire from various judges.

During this, the director Li Chengru publicly told him: “Stop selecting these nonsensical corner art pieces; raise your standards to look up higher.”

Xu Juncong, with his neck stretched, retorted: “I think Stephen Chow is not a corner art piece.”

With that, the judges immediately accused him of being unhumble and unwilling to accept criticism. Ultimately, Xu Juncong left in embarrassment after another failure.

But years later, he finally fulfilled his dream, collaborating with Stephen Chow. This itself is the best interpretation of a real-life version of “King of Comedy.”

5. Takeru Satoh

“Rurouni Kenshin” is a Japanese film I like very much; its fights are spectacular. The male lead is Takeru Satoh, who is very popular.

In this film, he plays the coach of the Yamato team, and though his screen time isn’t much, it’s quite impressive. I suspect he had to rely on green screens or perform without actual props, but he left a strong impression in the film.

I saw some amusing reviews where people didn’t know who Takeru Satoh was and hadn’t seen “Rurouni Kenshin,” yet they remarked that this Japanese actor acted quite well…

Of course, he is the heir of the flying sword style, once a cold-blooded killer “Killer Battōsai,” later making a vow not to kill and joining a club guiding people using the flying sword style to play soccer.

6. Hong Lei

Another beauty in the film is the one kicking her legs on the poster, named Hong Lei, who plays Qiqi.

Actually, before Stephen Chow made this movie, I had already followed her on Douyin; her figure is so stunning it could cause a nosebleed. I definitely started following her because of her Douyin videos of kicking legs, and I didn’t expect she would also star in this film; her character should be easy to identify, yet due to the soccer uniform, I couldn’t recognize her figure anymore...

For everyone mentioned above, you might think of that famous line: “Actually, I am an actor.” When you understand these, you know this is definitely not a shoddily produced film, but a truly heartfelt work by Stephen Chow.

I even want to thank every actor in this film; they all became their roles;

Also, thank Stephen Chow because in these characters, we see all of him.

7. Soccer

Because of the no-spoiler rule, I can’t elaborate too much here.

The various teams in the film represent different countries, like Japan, Russia, and India. I think there are many jokes in there, but I’m sure I won’t understand some soccer references.

I only have a superficial knowledge of soccer; I know Messi, Ronaldo, and Beckham, but I haven’t followed the World Cup closely, so I really don’t understand many jokes. However, I heard that people who understand soccer could spot many references in this film.

Though I don’t get soccer, I still noticed some interesting points, like for the goalkeeper, I felt one goalkeeper used a similar effect as that hand-stretching move in “Street Fighter,” which was very yoga-like and quite fun.

Additionally, the various special effects paid homage to many aspects of the old “Shaolin Soccer.” So these points are definitely good, full of nostalgia.

8. Special Effects

Regarding special effects, some people say that some details felt a bit fake, but I personally didn’t feel that way.

Of course, I am actually quite strict on special effects, as I love watching various CG animations and special effects. For example, I used to really like the first part of “Feng Shen,” which took two to three years and cost 1.2 billion, yet the special effects were astonishing; when that green protagonist with several hands appeared, I was stunned in the theater. (I hope I won’t get complaints for saying this; it’s just my genuine viewing experience. Of course, purely subjective; if you think it’s good, just treat it as if I didn’t say anything, survival comes first.)

Stephen Chow’s films absolutely have no reason to be called trash.

Additionally, Stephen Chow appears in the film with a line and a shot; this might be the only reason someone feels like crying upon seeing him. Moreover, it seems there are two versions of Stephen Chow, one young and one from “Shaolin Soccer.” This isn’t considered a spoiler, right?

9. Ratings

I discovered a very interesting phenomenon; the current ratings for this movie are quite polarized.

I’ve figured out the reason: those who found it lower than expected have a high probability of “not watching it right”; while those scoring it highly often didn’t have many expectations beforehand and might not even know the leads well. Their mindset while watching the movie is very pure; they just want to enjoy the movie happily and find it quite thrilling with simple thoughts.

Observe the people around you who have seen this movie; they can basically be divided into these two categories:

Expected Audience: When they find the movie contrary to their expectations, they feel a bit dissatisfied.

No-Expectation Audience: Without pretense regarding actors or storylines, they can enjoy the film purely.

You like your girlfriend to wear a qipao to showcase her perfect figure.

When you date, you expect her to wear a qipao. But when you meet, she wears jeans and a T-shirt. At that moment, all you can think is, “Hmph, why is she wearing this?”

However, if you had no such expectation and simply went to see her, you might think, “Impressive.”

10. Core

In Stephen Chow’s office hangs a portrait of Bruce Lee. Stephen was a kung fu master in his youth. I remember a well-known figure from Hong Kong once said, Stephen Chow does have real kung fu.

Stephen Chow’s love for kung fu is embedded in his bones. If we say Stephen Chow's entire understanding of kung fu is actually, “Be water, my friend,” it is also the line everyone argues about what exactly is the wording at the beginning of the film, and this core runs throughout.

About three to forty minutes into the film, when a player says, “I don’t want to win; I just want to play football,” I felt the film suddenly elevated.

When he pulled down the previously anxious, angry Zhang Xiaofei, who you might feel is somewhat exaggerated, suddenly it became a strong reference point.

When you anxiously think, just like I did, that this film is below expectations, and you happen to read this article, I think I don’t need to say much more.

That’s the second brother’s thoughts, finished.

Be water, my friend.

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