👇 This joke about a #Web2 investment company is very similar to the current predicament of #Web3 VCs. Investor Professor, unable to issue coins, lacks understanding of marketing and economic models. Investing in competitors, each one compares valuations, why does he have 1 billion while I only have 500 million? Being an investor is really tough, better hurry up and do the TGE now. 😭

Just after May Day, a certain institution held a semi-annual investment business discussion meeting.

Partner Mr. Hu first gave a keynote speech:

“Today, everyone can speak freely, mainly discussing three topics.”

“Does the strategy of ‘investing in small, early, new, and hard projects’ that the company previously insisted on need to be revised under the new exit situation?”

“Does investing in small and early mean only investing in cheap projects?”

“Does investing in new and hard mean only investing in projects started by scientists?”

“Xiao Zhao, how is the semiconductor project by Professor Zhou that you invested in at the beginning of the year progressing?”

“I just spoke with Professor Zhou last week. He said their research group published 5 SCI papers in the first half of the year, and they are about to publish an article in Science Online…”

“And then?” Mr. Hu seemed to want more.

“Professor Zhou also said they discovered a new formula at the beginning of the year and are currently organizing research to try to publish another SCI paper.”

“And what else?” Mr. Hu continued to ask.

Xiao Zhao felt a bit embarrassed: “The professor also said they have almost spent all their money and want to raise some funds in the second half of the year.”

“Is that it? The money is all gone?” Mr. Hu seemed a bit dissatisfied with this answer.

Xiao Zhao felt a bit at a loss: “Mr. Hu, their progress in research and development has been very fast this past six months.”

Mr. Hu was a bit displeased:

“So, we invested 10 million, and they used it all to publish papers? What about the progress on the project? How is the pilot line doing? Did they send samples to the clients as previously mentioned?”

Xiao Zhao felt a bit wronged:

“Mr. Hu, Professor Zhou said the domestic instruments in the school laboratory were not good. After the financing arrived, they bought the latest Agilent 8890 chromatograph, then bought the Thermo Fisher 480 mass spectrometer, then renovated the laboratory, and then realized the money was not enough…”

Mr. Hu almost lost his composure and waved his hand:

“Xiao Zhao, you need to keep a close eye on this project. Professor Zhou is treating our money as his research funding. If this continues, it will be a bottomless pit. If someone is willing to take old shares in the next round of financing, sell them off quickly…”

“Xiao Li, how is the progress of the embodied intelligence project reported at the previous project approval meeting by Professor Zhang?”

“Leader, we have already signed a confidentiality agreement, but the TS has not been signed yet, and we haven’t received the materials. Professor Zhang said their technical information is highly confidential, and they need to sign the TS to release the materials.”

Mr. Hu looked confused:

“How can an angel project take months and not be delivered?”

“Then hurry up and sign the TS. Although early-stage projects can make quick decisions, how can we decide without seeing the materials?”

Xiao Li felt a bit wronged:

“Mr. Hu, Professor Zhang insists that the valuation for the angel round financing cannot be lower than 1 billion, and dilution cannot exceed 10%. Otherwise, it’s off the table. Although embodied intelligence is very hot right now, investors are not fools, right? So it’s stuck here. Professor Zhang said he is not in a hurry and can negotiate slowly.”

“Ah?” Mr. Hu almost spat out old blood: “Why is it worth 1 billion?”

“The professor said that last year, Professor Sun from their lab went out to start a business and raised 10 million in the angel round at a valuation of 100 million. He feels his status is bigger than Professor Sun’s, so he can’t be lower than Professor Sun when starting a business, otherwise, he won’t be able to mix in the circle in the future.”

Mr. Hu slammed the table:

“… Tell him to offer 100 million valuation for 10 million investment. If he doesn’t agree, forget it… next.”

Dr. Song silently raised his hand:

“Boss, I’d like to report on the latest financing progress of Professor Qiu’s cell therapy project.”

Mr. Hu finally showed a long-lost smile.

“Professor Qiu wants us to sell 10% of our old shares to their management at an 80% discount.”

“Hmm, we seem to have 30% shares, which is indeed a bit much. Is this round of financing almost done? We’ve made several times our investment, selling at an 80% discount is fine.” Mr. Hu instructed.

“Professor Qiu wants to buy our old shares at an 80% discount based on the previous round’s valuation.” Dr. Song hesitated for a moment but still lowered his voice to say it.

“What?” Mr. Hu’s expression instantly changed from sunny to overcast: “Why? Why doesn’t he just take it directly?”

Dr. Song quickly explained: “Professor Qiu said it’s to use his technological achievements to help us make money, and we, as financial investors, should be grateful…”

“If it weren’t for us helping him when he was in the most difficult time, would he have today? And he still wants us to be grateful to him?”

It seems Mr. Hu was really angry this time.

“Xiao Song, research the investment terms with risk control. See if there’s anything that can trigger a buyback, and don’t argue with him. Let him return the money quickly…”

“But,” Xiao Song showed a difficult expression.

“What but?” Mr. Hu’s anger had not subsided.

“We didn’t sign a buyback clause when we invested before.”

“What???!!!”

“Mr. Hu, it was you who made the decision at that time, saying the priority was to secure these professors, and the terms didn’t matter.”

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